I had already announced to friends and family that I would be leaving my deplorable, unhealthy, traumatizing job in a blaze of glory when I got the phone call from HR: "I'm sorry to tell you, we've decided to go with someone else." And there I was at work, under-caffeinated and miserable, with a full day in front of me, sucker punched and head throbbing with anger, sadness and resentment. So, I did the only thing I knew to do.
I crawled under my desk and cried.
I eventually got myself together to face the rest of the day, but I couldn't stop rehashing all the details leading up to this point. It didn’t make sense. I had sailed through two rounds of interviews, built a super-polished portfolio, and prepared all the right answers. But I didn’t get the job. What went wrong?
The mistake you may be making too:
I may never know exactly why I didn’t get the job in the end, but looking back now, I'm able to see a pattern of thoughts and behaviors that were harming my sense of self-worth and sending me down a dead-end path of scarcity, lack, and disappointment. What I know now is that I was caught in a fear trap.
I was grasping at anything that would be my ticket out of there. In fact, that was exactly how I got said horrible job in the first place.
Beneath the go-getter attitude and stellar interviewing skills was an underlying fear that if I didn't get the job, I would never “fix” what felt so wrong within me. I'd be forever stuck in the toxic workplace (or some version of it), doomed to face the unrelenting Sunday Sads for all eternity. I thought the external marker (a new job) was what was going to fix all my internal angst.
I was so caught up in anger, resentment, vicarious trauma, and fear that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. But, bringing that energy to a job interview is probably not a good strategy regardless.
What you need to know about the Law of Attraction
This is a confusing topic, but it’s also very simple. Some argue that it’s oversimplified, but that’s usually because it’s commonly misunderstood and misused. Put simply, like energy attracts like energy. Therefore, fear attracts the very same thing you’re hoping to avoid (the bad stuff). So, when you’re operating from a place of needing the thing to fix you, you’ll be met with more fear and more scarcity.
Grasping is like Law of Attraction on Opposite Day. The more you reach and strive for something from a place of scarcity, lack, and fear, the more you’re calling in that kind of energy. Furthermore…
Your self-worth and wellbeing are not about the job, or the baby, or the engagement ring, or the number on the scale! These things will not magically make you happy and free. So, what will?
Clarity: As you become more mindful about your values, desires, boundaries, thinking patterns, emotional responses and behaviors, you'll notice that you're much more powerful than you thought. There’s so much freedom in letting go of comparison and factitious expectations.
Self-Acceptance: As you acknowledge that you are whole and complete just as you are, you will no longer seek external markers as measures of your worthiness or wellbeing.
Right Action: As you make choices and decisions rooted in loving kindness for yourself and the world around you, you’ll see those actions reflected in the kinds of experiences and people that surround you. Like attracts like.
This kind of self-empowerment already exists within you. You may just need some help excavating it.
You might simply benefit from working through old hurts from the past with a therapist or coach to help guide you through your next steps.
It's time to become un-stuck from the fear trap. I can show you how.
If you’d like more information on working with me, click here.
Be in touch,