Do any of these phrases apply to you? I'm independent to the core. I can manage. I'm always striving. I can make ends meet. I don’t need the help. I should be able to handle this.
Your knee-jerk reaction might be: oh yes— this is totally a woman's thing. You know, the lean-in, caretaking, manage it all, everyone else's needs come first type situation. The truth is, I see many men with the same tendency to not let in love, support, help, or guidance when it's being offered.
If you answered yes to any of the phrases above, this may be an ongoing lesson for you. I know I get to learn it over and over again with every new undertaking I embrace. For some, it can be a particularly tough lesson to master.
In our culture of constantly doing, thinking, planning, and what-if-ing, it almost feels unnatural to slow down enough to even recognize the kind offerings that the universe has to share— an invitation to coffee with a colleague, the sharing of information that's helped others in the past, a mysterious sign you can sense in your gut, a hug, a compliment, a practical offering.
It almost feels like cheating when something is offered so effortlessly to you... that accepting it would be depriving yourself of some sort of learning experience. A matter of pride, or maybe just habit.
However, not everything must be born of struggle in isolation. Freedom abounds when we don't revert to automatic "no's". What beautiful things might happen if you opened yourself up to receive? What if you were able to slow down enough to notice that support can be a wonderful gift— not an easy out, a charity case, or a too good to be true scenario?
Perhaps this blog post can serve as a reminder of the help and support that is just waiting for you to tap into. Right now. Just waiting for you to stop, notice, and receive.
Create Your Way to Receiving the Right Kind of Support:
Art is a powerful teacher, and I encourage you to spend some time creating art around this theme of accepting support. Notice what you're drawn to— the colors, the textures, the lines, and symbols— be they abstract or recognizable forms. Let the art be your guide in identifying automatic thoughts, habits, old stories, and roadblocks to receiving. Invent ways to remove these obstacles on the page. Open yourself to the possibilities that exist in real time. Start there and see what might shift for you.
Wishing you unexpected gifts.
PS- To inquire about working with me in therapy, click here to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation.