“We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be.” ― Jane Austen, Mansfield Park

We are constantly evaluating and thinking our way in and out of relationships, jobs, agreements, projects, and situations.

We learn to trust as infants, and those early patterns tend to carry out in relationships across our lifespan.

But before we get to healthy, trusting relationships with others, isn’t it essential to really know and trust ourselves?

What if you could balance your skills of logic and left-brained thinking with a more intuitive, instinctual way of knowing that could reaffirm your trust in yourself, your choices, and your relationships? Below are just a few tips to get started…


1.     Be curious about your fear & distinguish it from self-doubt. 

            Are you taking stock of something, evaluating a choice you made, or contemplating change? It’s natural to have fears pop up in the process. So, begin by tuning into your wisest self and ask, “What is the purpose of my fear?” If it is to show you that you are in physical, emotional, or financial danger, then trust your instinct to safely exit from the situation; utilize trusted support.

If, however, your fear is telling you “Hey, this means a lot to me, and it would suck if I failed, was rejected, or felt uncomfortable in the process,” then perhaps this is your intuition telling you something else entirely. You’re on the brink of a big change, and no matter what, you’re going to grow and learn from this experience. My recent post, The Funny Thing About Intuition, expands on this concept.

So, make friends with fear and get to know it. Journal about it, doodle about it, talk to it. What does it have to tell you?

2.     Play with intuition by tuning into cues and clues in & around you.

            Consider tapping into the signs, symbols, and “gut feelings” that are all around (and within) you. Start with a morning question. Ask for answers. Go on un-planned walks in your neighborhood if it’s safe to do so. Let your intuition guide you throughout the day. Tuning into signs and symbols can be a bit like that thing that happens when you buy a new car or pair of shoes: suddenly, they’re everywhere you look!

Finding magic in every-day life is a true sign of a creative spirit, so if this already rings true for you, you might want to enrich your practice with oracle cards or a daily visual journal entry. Keep track of your findings in a diary—notice patterns and affirmations of what your intuition has shown you in various ways. And, again, if your gut (belly, throat, shoulders, hairs on your neck) are telling you that danger is lurking, then listen to it and seek the support you need.

3.     Focus on your location within the process & don’t get lost in the minutiae.

            The hardest part of evolving and growing is knowing when to take the blinders off and see the big picture. We often get so hyper-focused on our to-do lists and our expectations, that we don’t see how far we’ve already come. When we’re immersed in the process of creating change in our lives (in relationships, health, business, artistic endeavors, etc.), we get stuck on the fact that “____ hasn’t happened yet.”  We don’t see the subtle (but significant) shifts that have occurred or all the NECESSARY steps we’re actively taking along the way.

If you can imagine your life as viewed through a fancy camera lens, see if you can pan out and get the wide-angle view. What has shifted in order for you to get to this new place? How might you be grateful for the setbacks that have landed you in your desire for more? Artwork around this concept can be immensely helpful, as it can capture the big picture in one image, using lines, shapes, and colors—rather than relying on clumsy words alone.

Whether you choose to explore one or all of these tips, try to make a daily practice of it.  And, always remember to surround yourself with those who share your vision.




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